Week Two Dances

This is a lot of "stars" to review! I can't wait until we get down to a manageable number of (good!) dancers. Did you notice an excessive number of audience boos when the scores were announced?

So...in alphabetical order:


Aaron Carter/Karina Smirnoff (Quickstep=27): Did you know Aaron's bright green leprechaun costume was representing Kermit? Did you know Karina's big feathery cream-colored skirt was representing Miss Piggy? It reminded me more of Big Bird...without the schoolbus yellow. Overall a cute, clever and very fast Quick Step.

Chuck Liddell/Anna Trebunskaya (Tango=19): I swear Anna's costume was a remake of one of Karina's from last year--and they just added a new full skirt to it. It's hard to forget a sheer black costume, no? I'm having a hard time keeping all the tatoos straight this season, but Chuck added Geico gechos to either side of his head? This might be taking endorsements just a bit too far. Their dance was w-a-y too aggressive. I know the Tango is supposed to be aggressive, but this was just aggressive in a mean-scowling-man-lumbering-around-the-dance-floor sort of way.

Debi Mazar/Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango=21): Very intense Tango. But, Debi seemed behind the beat for much of the dance. I wasn't crazy about her black and red hooker costume either. And Maks needs to lighten up on her a little. I think she's really trying. Maybe if he and Karina just got back together, both of their partners would have it a little easier this season. Add one more to the tally of the number of times Maks pinched Tom's butt this season.

Donny Osmond/Kym Johnson (Jive=25): I'm still feeling little depressed since they announced that Donny is the second oldest contestant on the show this season. Um...he's my age, which makes him very young! Now, let's get to the important stuff. Can someone please explain Kym's costume to me? It just looked like one big mess of junk thrown together. But, Carrie Ann thought it was hot. Huh? Maybe she was really referred to Donny's purple velvet suit, which looked not only hot (temperature wise), but way too big for him. Did someone in Wardrobe call in sick this week?? Their Jive was pretty good though. Not great, but pretty good.

Joanna Krupa/Derek Hough (Jive=20): Cute fringe skirt. Weird long ratty hair. Ammo belt across her abs. This is a Jive costume? Their dance was fine if you didn't look too closely, but her feet seemed to be all over the place.

Kathy Ireland/Tony Dovolani (Quick Step=18): In the slowest Quick Step in recorded history, Kathy lumbered around the ballroom in a lavender flouncy ballgown, which sported matching ribbon sleeves. If I didn't know she was paired with Tony, I wouldn't have been able to tell by their costumes. He was wearing a rusty/brick colored thing. It was just kind of a mess. And, let's don't forget to mention Samantha's question, which she was probably practicing all week: "Shall they dance another week?"

Kelly Osbourne/Louis Van Amstel (Tango=19): Poor Kelly. She lost it and panicked (her words) this week. I probably would have lost it, too, if they made me go out in public with a 1950s housewife blonde braid wrapped around my really cute hair and put me in a red satin dress that wasn't at all flattering to my midsection. I'd really like to see her stick around, but she seemed to have made a lot of mistakes in her Tango.

Louis Vito/Chelsie Hightower (Jive=19): Oh, it was a good thing Len was absent this week--he would have hated all the acrobatics (flip at the beginning and splits) in this Jive routine. They were both wearing weird costumes--again, they didn't seem to match each other. His footwork was good...when he remembered it, but he seemed to lose his place several times. And pulling out the ol' guitar leg move is getting tired...at least I'm getting tired of it.

Mark Decascos/Lacey Schwimmer (Quick Step=21): This Quick Step was fast and clever and I loved the leap at the beginning. Mark talked about slipping, but I didn't see it. Admittedly, it was about midnight when I was watching my DVR, but I like him and want him to stick around. I also liked their cute Roaring Twenties costumes--especially Lacey's beige satin dress with the fox fur shoulder strap. I don't think it was authentic like mine though--my furs have toenails and everything! I'll show them to you sometime.

Melissa Joan Hart/Mark Ballas (Jive=19): At least their costumes matched--I knew they were dance partners in their red and white polka dot Minnie Mouse outfits. Poor Melissa's feet just didn't seem to want to move. I think Mark was trying to distract us though because he was apparently wearing Michael Jackson's Thriller shoes and socks. Melissa's hair looked cute in its pony tail though.

Michael Irvin/Anna Demidova (Quick Step=20): Wait a minute. Maybe Michael can dance. There should be a prize for anyone who can put a name to the color of their costumes--and they totally clashed! I'm going with deep orchid and florescent hot pink. Hello, Wardrobe? Are you on strike this week or something? Anyway, the dance was better than last week (faint praise!), but his footwork was kind of sluggish.

Mýa/Dmitry Chaplin (Jive=27): My favorite dance of the night. Cute flapper costume--lots of silver and dark grey fringe. But the tape on the big black glasses/too short pants with white socks gimmick has been done to death on this show. I'm just blaming Wardrobe again. (I didn't realize I was mad at them until now, but I'm annoyed!)

Natalie Coughlin/Alec Mazo (Quick Step=21): The Queen of Chlorine can't stop holding her breath. So, what's the problem? Maybe Alec should ease into it and just ask her to breathe when she gets to the end of the dance floor--just like in swimming. I liked their Quick Step and thought her splits at the end were very impressive. But, again, Wardrobe??? His pants were way too long and her flowy lavender dressed looked too big. But, her hair looked nice--kind of synchronized swimmer style.

Tom DeLay/Cheryl Burke (Tango=18): Suffering from a pre-stress fracture, their routine wasn't too bad. At least it was significantly better than last week. But, um...Tom? Almost dropping your partner is not a good thing, nor does it win you points with the audience. Loved when Samantha asked him what he's hearing from his friends and he said, "24 members of Congress think I'm crazy."

I liked Samantha's one-armed blue dress. I didn't understand it, but I liked it!