Let's Discuss DWTS

Week 7 Scorecard

2009-11-02T00:08:00.001-06:00

I'm ready for another double elimination week...and to see the costumes designed by the "stars", rather than the professional dancers. Once we get through this week, we should (hopefully!) be down to just the good dancers...instead of the dancers with the largest fan base. At risk? I think Michael Irvin (although his fans have been keeping him in...and last week's dance off wasn't bad...well, compared to Louie's), Kelly Osbourne, and Aaron Carter. We'll see who survives Tuesday night's LIVE...in no particular order...double elimination!

DWTS Scorecard-Week 7

Week 6 Scorecard--Are You Ready for the Dance Marathon?

2009-10-25T23:11:00.000-05:00

In addition to the ballroom dance this week, the couples are also learning the Mambo in preparation for the Dance Marathon. This sounds really hard to me. I guess they are all going to be on the dance floor Mambo-ing until they are called off one couple at a time...until the last couple stands. So, not just a basic routine that they can practice over and over, they have to really learn this dance so they can keep moving without repeating the same steps over and over. This should separate the Louie Vitos from the Louis Van Amstels and the Michael Irvins from the Mark Ballases!

We're more than half way through the competition, so it's time to send the laggers home. I'm voting Louie Vito and Michael Irvin off the island...you know, if anyone cares what I think.

Happy viewing. Your scorecard for the week is below.

"Dancing With the Stars" Scorecard-Week 6

I'm In Mourning for Natalie...and Really Mad At Those Judges!

2009-10-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

I can't believe Natalie went home...and I can't believe Len had the nerve to blame it on the audience voting for the underdogs! Natalie doesn't have the fan base some of the others have. But she might have had a fighting chance if only the judges hadn't placed her in second to last place. She just didn't have the fan base to vote her out of that position. Shame on you, judges! I really think they should vote on the curve. After all, that's how Jerry and I do it--we give half points and quarter points...whatever we need to do so we don't give two couples the same score.

Anyway, the rest of the week went like this:

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff (24 for their Argentine Tango): I'm tired of Aaron and Karina is, apparently, a "cold-blooded bitch" (her words...not mine!). I liked their leg flick moves--very quick and very together.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson (29 for their Argentine Tango): The highest score of the season? I'm not sure it was that good, but Kym's costume...apparently stolen from Edyta's closet...probably earned them extra points. She was mostly naked on the left side with just one string on top and one sheer gold wisp at her hip holding the rest of the dress together. Now Donny really won't be allowed back in Utah!

Joanna Krupa and Maksim Chmerkovskiy (24 for their Paso Doble): Jerry and I both thought this was the best dance of the night...in spite of her minor footwork mistake, which unfortunately caused Maks to stumble. It was perfect music (Whatever Lola Wants...) and I loved her move at the beginning where her legs wrapped around his legs while he was dancing.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel (24 for their Paso Doble): I'm tired of the weird hair, but at least she didn't have a wig on this week. It was almost frightening how much she looked like her mother--from her hair down to her clothes...except Sharon would have been wearing black, rather than Kelly's charcoal grey. And I suppose Louis' makeup was meant to make him look like Ozzy? I guess a nice tribute to one of her father's songs. I hope she bounces back from her foot injury this week!

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower (22 for their Argentine Tango): Okay, Louie basically walked through the dance...and the judges gave him the same score as they gave Natalie? Huh??????? I liked Chelsie's glittery short red dress...and Louie at least had his hair out of his eyes. That's the nicest thing I can say about him in light of the judging travesty!

Mark Decascos and Lacey Schwimmer (26 for their Paso Doble): Not sure about Lacey's hair being in a Mohawk, but I liked Mark's solo at the beginning and basically liked their dance. I'm a little surprised Lacey's costume didn't send the morals department into a fit, but I guess she had flocking in the right places on top of the sheer fabric.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas (23 for their Argentine Tango): I'm not sure how much rehearsing with Anna (I swore I wasn't going to have to type her last name again this season!) Trebunskaya was supposed to help Melissa, but I guess she did learn to "lift up her boobies"...something I can't quite hear Mark saying. Melissa dances kind of flat footed and clunky. And, what were those red tea cozy things on Mark's shoes? They looked like they were made out of flannel and only served to draw unnecessary attention to Melissa's (lack of) footwork.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova (21 for their Paso Doble): #1...what is with Anna's brown hair? They, too, got great music (Toreador from the opera "Carmen")...and I loved when he ripped her skirt off and used it as a cape. Very dramatic! The whole coin in the butt cheeks thing? Bruno seemed happy to have it presented to him.

Mýa and Dmitry Chaplin (27 for their Argentine Tango): I guess this was their week to take a fieldtrip, huh? Off to Habitat for Humanity they went and I believe Mýa put two entire nails into that house before they headed back to the dance studio. I loved their quick, precise moves and her jumping off the stage into his arms.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo (22 for their Paso Doble): I actually really liked their dance to "American Woman" and thought it was very appropriate for an Olympic athlete. Her costume reminded me of Edyta's when she Paso Dobled with Jason Taylor...except Natalie's was red, white and blue...right down to the blue star "tatooed" on her arm. I actually gave her routine a 9...and Jerry gave it a 9.5, so I don't know what the judges were doing waving those 7 and 8 paddles around. The Olympic athletes are no longer undefeated! Bummer.

Before we leave Monday night, can I just say:

Did Samantha, Lacey and Kelly all stick their fingers in a light socket? Their hair was all a big mess.

WHAT was with Samantha's outfit? Isn't her job to pretty much stand around looking glamorous in a ballgown? She looked like she forgot her blouse--just had on an animal-looking print bra and a high-waisted long black skirt. It was not a good look!

I really liked the group Hustle. It was really cute and well choreographed. The costumes? Let's just say, I don't remember seeing a lot of those around Chicago Heights during the 70s!

The Results
The "Results" show, which is usually just a giant recap of the previous night, was actually quite a show in itself.

Okay, Norah Jones sang twice, but I get annoyed unless there are DWTS pros dancing with the singers...luckily, Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya (Ick! Had to type it again!) came through with a lovely, graceful dance to the song they danced to at their wedding..."Come Away With Me". It was very nicely done...especially the move when he seemed to effortlessly hold her under one armpit as he spun her around on one foot. And after they finished dancing and Tom Bergeron started to talk, you could see them quietly swaying in the background. Very touching.

The Macy's Stars of Dance hit another home run--their second pretty much ever--with the Michael Jackson tribute. I loved all the professional dancers really getting a chance to show how well they dance when they aren't saddled with less-than-fabulous "stars".  Chelsie Hightower was amazing...and I'm not usually a huge fan of her.

So...did the entire Jackson family have an addiction to plastic surgery? LaToya and Jermaine certainly seem to be following in Michael's footsteps in that regard. I was also stunned by the DWTS singer, Darryl Phinnessee, who apparently went on three world tours with Michael Jackson and seems to have shared his plastic surgeon. I mean...tell me you don't think this guy looks like Michael Jackson--he comes on about 25 seconds into this video.        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI8SHC62rpo

So, just like Michael Jackson (who apparently loved DWTS), we'll all be watching..and remembering not to vote for the underdogs...right?  Thank you, Len Goodman!

HUGE Apologies About Confusing Changes to My Blog!

2009-10-25T23:09:00.000-05:00

Okay. I plead the fifth! I'm new at this. I'm basically clueless and have no idea what I'm doing. I had this Blog set up all nice and neat-ish. I tried to set up a Blog for our neighborhood, so we'd have a place to post pictures and things. But, all the things I did to customize that Blog, carried over to this one. I've just spent a long time fixing it. So, if you see anything that says "My name is Neighborhood 25" or anything, please let me know.

Week Five Scorecard...Do the Hustle!

2009-10-18T20:33:00.000-05:00

Here is your scorecard for week five. I'm ready for the passionate Argentine Tango, the dramatic Paso Doble, and the...um...1970s disco Hustle?

Let's see, somewhere in this pile of totally useless facts I've gathered, there must be a list of ages. Who might have actually been alive in the 1970s and actually old enough to be out at a disco to see the Hustle?

Donny Osmond...not that I think Mormons actually went to discos in the 70s...and possibly Mark Decascos, but only if he would have borrowed his older brother's ID or something. This is pathetic and makes me feel very old!

"Dancing With the Stars" Scorecard-Week 5

What's With Changing the Encore Dance on Us, Judges?

2009-10-18T20:22:00.001-05:00

Heh! On Monday night Len said he wanted to see Derek and Joanna's Lambada as the encore dance. On Tuesday, he wanted to see Melissa and Mark's Charleston. I'd be seriously ticked off if I were Derek and Joanna!

Well...that was about it for drama on the results show this week. Two boring filler segments containing shocking revelations, such as:

--It's stressful to be standing under the red light listening to the scary music during elimination. Who knew?
--Some of the stars have cute kids. Some of the stars have kids that threaten other stars with comments like "our dad can beat up your dad". Yawn.

Was there no Macy's Stars of Dance this week? Even they can't stretch to find something not even vaguely related to ballroom dancing to put on for their regular segment? Fine with me!

Shakira sang twice...without any professional dancers dancing around showing off how good they can be when they aren't forced to dance with clumsy "stars". That's usually the only redeeming quality about the musical guests! Geez. Were the female Asian drummers and the belly dancers supposed to be our dance connection? A serious disappointment.

And then we wasted more time revealing the next "Bachelor". Jake somebody or another will star in the upcoming season of "The Bachelor...On the Wings of Love". Whatever. He looks like a total drip and like he's scared to death of the cameras. This should be fascinating, huh?

The highlight of the show...and something I'd like to see done every week...was the professional dancers demonstrating the two dances we'll be seeing next week--the Argentine Tango and the Paso Doble. I find it fascinating...and the stars find it terrifying...so why not make this a regular segment?

Samantha looked fabulous in her red satin ballgown. I swear that's the only reason they keep her on the show--she looks good in a ballgown. We all know it's not for her hard-hitting interviewing skills and fascinating commentary! Let's see...my favorite was probably, "Don't worry. A lot of people are always trying to interpret what the judges are saying." Yep--that's some hard-hitting journalism there!

Are we ready to see them "do the Hustle" this week? Bring it on!

Week Four -- The Four New Dances

2009-10-18T20:03:00.001-05:00

Last week's four new dances were...interesting. In retrospect, did we need four new dances? Jerry and I both kept saying that we didn't know how to judge the dances because we weren't sure what they were supposed to look like. Perhaps that was for the best with most of the couples!

In no particular order...okay, it's alphabetical because that's how my notes are and I'm too darned lazy to sort them any other way!

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff (18 for their Lambada): Perhaps they should have spent a little more time in the studio practicing the dance and a little less time at the gym practicing a back flip? Maybe then Aaron's dance wouldn't have looked to spastic and jerky...and they might have had time to put in "more raunch" for Len and Bruno. Oh, well. I liked Aaron early on and thought he was destined for the top four. Now, I'm not so sure. He just seems like a big cry baby to me. A little less whining and a little more dancing, okay?

Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya (17 for their Two Step): I've been waiting for Chuck to get voted off for the past several weeks. I'm not only relieved I won't have to see him dance again, but I won't have to type Anna's last name either! I guess Chuck's Two-Step past...you know, working in a bar and watching people do it...wasn't the training he had hoped it would be. He didn't seem to be doing much and what he did do was clumsy. Now he can go back to beating people up...or whatever it is he does.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson (24 for their Charleston): I really liked their Charleston. Very cute steps and very high energy...you know, for an old guy like Donny. : ) And Kym had the best costume of the evening--darling red flapper style with long red fringe and really long pearls...and a cute headband with sequins. The headband-wearing singer was probably very jealous! I still think he's destined for the top four.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough (26 for their Lambada): I guess this one did have enough raunch in it for Len and Bruno! Derek even reminded us that he has the best job in America because he gets to practice sexy moves with Joanna. I think it's great they volunteered for pet adoption, but what the heck does that have to do with dancing? They can at least pretend their "field trips" are somehow related to the program. Seeing Derek dancing without his shirt wasn't too much of a hardship, was it ladies? But can anyone actually name the color of Derek's sash and Joanna's costume? Electric lime green? But I loved Joanna's costume. I guess I'm just a sucker for anything with long fringe, but she could have lost the ruffly thing that was hanging off one hip. It looked like it was left over from someone's Salsa costume. And Tom Bergeron gets the prize for the best quip of the evening when he responded to Carrie Ann's comment that she "hoped the children were in bed" with his comment "I bet some of the adults are now!"

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel (23 for their Charleston): What is with the wigs on this poor girl? The short black wig was cute with her feather headband thing and her black and white sequined dress, but she's got cute hair and she's had a wig on for the last three weeks. Their dance was good, but I just realized that Kelly is not very light on her feet and, although she did the steps, she didn't do them with any finesse. The second most surprising thing? She actually tried out for the part of Roxie in "Chicago"--that part just doesn't seem like anything she'd aspire to do. The most surprising thing? Samantha actually played the part of Roxie in "Chicago"??? Who knew? I thought she was always the hard-hitting interviewer she is on DWTS!

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower (16 for their Two Step): Another hard-hitting, deeply necessary field trip? I guess it was an opportunity for Chelsie to introduce city-boy Louie to the only cowboy he's probably ever met--Ty Murray! I'm not sure Ty did such a great job bringing out his inner cowboy, because it sure didn't show on the dance floor. Yes, he was dressed like a cowboy, but he sure didn't move like one. He was stiff (on the rare occasions he actually moved) and probably would have served himself better if he would have skipped the field trip and hit the dance studio a little more. I don't think they're going to be around much longer at this rate.

Mark Decascos and Lacey Schwimmer (22 for their Two Step): Is there anything more unlikely than a martial artist doing a country dance and wearing blue jeans? Doubtful. I guess they kept showing us the cow skull during their routine to keep us in the country mood. This just wasn't his dance and he seemed a little awkward and very uncomfortable. But, he did do a couple of neat jump, kick, flip things that managed to look kind of country. I'd love to see him in the finals.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas (28 for their Charleston): Okay, maybe field trips are just the thing for Melissa because, once she got in the character of the Charleston, her dance was fabulous. I liked the choppy black and white camera work at the beginning and loved her blonde curly wig. The thing that struck me as odd was that they never moved around the dance floor--they just stayed right in front of (and on) the stage the entire time. But, since it was my first time watching Charleston on the show, I wasn't sure if that was the way it was supposed to be or not. Other Charleston couples seemed to cover much more of the dance floor. But, who can argue with the single biggest jump in score in the history of DWTS? Up nine points in one week is phenomenal! And a 10 from Bruno!

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova (16 for their Bolero): Even with Anna bringing Tony Dovolani (the world champion!) in to help coach Michael, there's really no hope for him. Again, he was just kind of standing there while Anna danced circles around him. The judges keep telling him to bring more content, but he isn't the one who needs to get that message--Anna is. I think she's under choreographed him three out of the four weeks so far. We all know he's not great, but he might not be as bad as he seems--but we'll never know unless she lets him dance! I think he's destined to see an end to his dancing career either week five or week six. The only person standing in his way is Louis Vito as they duke it out for last place.

Mýa and Dmitry Chaplin (28 for their Lambada): Too much make-up and a distracting print dress made it hard for me to concentrate on her dance. I think I really liked it, but what the heck do I know about the Lambada? Len wanted more raunch. It seemed pretty sultry to me. She's destined for the finals...as long as she can remain injury free.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo (24 for their Bolero): I really loved this dance. Natalie seems to be constantly overlooked by the judges. I know they like her, but I think she's every bit as good as Mýa most of the time, yet she doesn't seem to get the scores or the praise she deserves. I was blown away by her splits on the stairs during the opening and by her falling splits to back to standing move. I do not understand how this is done--it just defies gravity. She was very graceful and elegant. Her costume seemed to be a sort of remake of the one she wore last week--a bikini top and bottom with a silky swag thing.

"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" "Dancing With the Stars" Week!!

2009-10-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

Oh, my gosh. My two worlds collide! "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" is holding auditions October 19-23rd for their upcoming "Dancing With the Stars" week. If you're going to be in New York that week, sign up to audition. I'll be happy to be one of your "phone a friend" lifelines!!

http://millionairetv.com/special/dancingwiththestars/

Linda

Week Four Scorecard

2009-10-11T17:52:00.000-05:00

Here is your scorecard for week four. It will be very interesting to see how the professional dancers do with the four new dances this week. I seem to remember the addition of West Coast Swing to the program last season threw a couple of the pros into a bit of a quandary. For instance, Derek had to look the dance up on the internet to see how it is done. So, the pros may have had a bit of a stressful week. I bet we'll get to see all the backstage drama. I can't wait!!

Happy viewing.

"Dancing With the Stars" Scorecard--Week 4

So Two Couples DID Go Home Last Night

2009-10-07T14:03:00.000-05:00

I figured Tom DeLay was going to have to drop out due to his injury--the first major injury of the season! And I guess I can understand the producers going forward with eliminating the couple "we" chose to send home in order to eliminate the number of "ballroom bloodbaths" (Tom Bergeron's term) mid-season...especially since we're now down to a more manageable 11 couples...just about where we usually start a season. And, so, we bid a fond farewell to Debi Mazar (who was she supposed to be again?).

Last night's biggest shocker was the judges choosing Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya (Why couldn't she have taken her husband's name when they got married? Roberts is so much easier to spell!) for their encore dance. What?? Of course Mýa (top of the leader board with 27 points) wasn't going to be chosen for a second week in a row, but I thought Natalie Coughlin (with her 26 points) was a shoe in. But then when Chuck was announced, I figured he was the one being sent home and this was an opportunity for his fans to be reminded just exactly how bad he is so they wouldn't get bent out of shape and come searching for the judges in a dark alley. Since Chuck wasn't sent home, I can only assume a large of amount of alcohol was involved in Len's decision.

Some highlights from last night:
--Louie Vito got the biggest cheer from the studio audience when the names were announced at the beginning of the show. Apparently the U.S. has a lot more snowboarding fans than I ever would have guessed.
--Donny (no last name required) reassured us that it was okay that he kissed Bruno, since he's already has his shots.
--Tom DeLay appeared pretty choked up at having to withdraw from the competition--in spite of the fact that he absolutely did the right thing.
--Tom Bergeron inviting Tom DeLay back to perform the Texas Two-Step on the season finale.
--Cheryl Burke looked fabulous (and very skinny) in her slinky red dress when she danced with Maks during Queen Latifah's first song. What Queen Latiffah has to do with ballroom dancing, I still don't get, but Maks and Cheryl seemed to Samba to her song just fine. Do you think Cheryl and Maks are a potential couple in the making? Last week Cheryl was all over Maks during the intro to the DWTS Training Center piece. I'm just saying...
--JabbaWockeeZ (thank goodness for the "Info" button on my TV or I'd never have guessed the spelling of their name!) dancing to "Singin' In the Rain". At least the music reminded me of ballroom dancing, even if their dancing ~~always~~ didn't.

Some lowlights from last night:
--"We" chose Sabrina Bryan to be the "Macy's Design a Dance" "star"? I'd almost forgotten about her--in spite of Tom Bergeron reminding us that her unexpectedly-early elimination remains a DWTS shocker.
--Mark Ballas and Lacey Schwimmer being revealed as the "surprise" dancers at the end of the JabbaWockeeZ dance. For a big surprise, it was pretty anticlimactic.
--Debi Mazar's explanation of why no one seems to be able to pronounce her last name. Heh! If she doesn't care about it, why should we?
--Queen Latifah's "Ease On Down the Road" number, which had absolutely nothing to do with ballroom dancing. Nope. Can't even stretch to come up with a connection here--even if she was bopping to the beat during the entire song. And who decided you can pair unzipped mid-calf boots with a sequined red and silver striped top? Where are those "What Not to Wear" people when you need them?

One "medium"light:
--The "predict the finalists" segment. I thought Steve Wozniak was a bit of a babbling idiot; and the toddler, although cute was supposed to be a chimpanzee (I guess the chimp had better things to do); but the ESPN Senior Fantasy Expert seemed to have some interesting statistics. I liked him! It will be interesting to see if his predictions play out.

So...are we ready for the four new ballroom dances next week? Did we need four new ballroom dances? I don't know how we (even with our eight seasons of at-home judging experience) are possibly going to be able to judge how the pairs are dancing the Bolero, Charleston, Texas Two-Step, or the Lambada (the forbidden dance!) gasp!!

Post your thoughts below.

I Don't Think Anyone Will Get Voted Off Tonight

2009-10-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, in my infinite wisdom, I don't think anyone will get voted off tonight. I think Tom DeLay will wind up dropping out due to his two fractured feet and that will save Chuck Liddell or Michael Irvin from getting the boot.

Let's face it, Tom DeLay isn't as bad as I feared he might be, but he shouldn't risk permanent long-term physical disability for the sake of the show. He's at best a middle-of-the-road dancer, but he's not going to win. The prudent thing to do would be to drop out.

Some other thoughts about last night's show:
--What was with the tiki torches?
--Why are Samba shadow rolls so hard? The pros are always making such a fuss about them, but they don't look that hard to me.
--What was with Len? He was especially crabby last evening in his comments and with his paddles (snicker, snicker).
--What was with Samantha's necklace? I don't really think the dress even needed a necklace.
--Poor Samantha was so confused by the random necklace around her neck, she just read the numbers off the TelePrompTer without figuring out that when they swapped things around to put Tom DeLay towards the end to give his feet time to rest, they neglected to fix her script.

Oh, well...in "no particular order"...except the order in which they really danced, here's what I thought:

Mark Decascos/Lacey Schwimmer (Rumba=18): Personally, I thought this was better than the across-the-board 6s they got for the dance. It might have been a little choppy, but I liked it. Lacey's costume? Not so much. A purple mini dress with really high black heels with ankle straps? Wardrobe needs to be on notice that they need to get it together. Also, what was with the one-armed tight black "sleeve" with big silver encrusted cutouts? If they need to cover up her tatoos so badly, why doesn't Chuck Liddell have to wear a paper bag over his head?

Joanna Krupa/Derek Hough (Samba=23): Tarzan swinging from the audience? Was that absolutely necessary? Did it add anything to the Samba? I don't think so. And I'm surprised Len didn't call them out for "messing about" at the beginning of the dance. I also thought their Samba looked better in rehearsal (more hip action on Joanna's part) than it did during the live performance. Much better hair this week for Joanna (there isn't much worse than the teased mess she had on top of her head last week!), but I found her print dress to be distracting. I'm just not a fan of print fabric on the dance floor.

Mýa/Dmitry Chaplin (Rumba=27): Here's the dilemma. Mýa did the judges' encore dance last week. Will they have her do it again this week...or will we be seeing Natalie's Rumba? I bet it's going to be Natalie. Mýa earned the first two 10s of the season--along with a lousy seven from Len, the grouch. I understand when there's a one-point difference in scores, but three points? Something is wrong there. But, their dance was lovely--elegant and graceful--and her sheer purple dress was beautiful. Carrie Ann missed a possible lift? I don't believe it!

Melissa Joan Hart/Mark Ballas (Samba=19): Loved her orange fringe dress...and I really liked her dance, but it was a little on the slow side--almost like she couldn't quite keep up. And Mark's hair was a wild mess.

Louie Vito/Chelsie Hightower (Rumba=20): Are we watching a budding romance? Shouldn't their names combine into something cute like "Bennifer"? Louie-sie and Chel-ouie aren't doing it for me. Maybe Vitower? Whatever. I'm surprised Len didn't comment on Louis having his hair slicked back and out of his eyes. But they get extra points from me for performing my favorite move--the running/splits/back up and running move. Truly, I don't understand how this is done--it's like a magic trick every time I see it. Louie didn't show us a lot of hip action, but it was a really good performance from our resident 21-year-olds.

Debi Mazar/Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Samba=17): I'm just wondering who Debi's fans are? I hadn't ever heard of her before the show. And, as if Debi weren't freaking out about being in the bottom two last week, she had to go out in public wearing the worst costume of the week? It looked like the Wardrobe Department's idea of an April Fools' joke. I mean what kind of sick minds think, hmmm, I wonder if we can get away with just hanging multiple colored boas from the waistband of an old costume so we can all go out for a nice long lunch? Let's try it! But, at least she wasn't talking as much during rehearsals this week. One might think that would have improved her performance. Hard to say--each step just seemed so careful. Plus...Maks forgot to pinch Tom's butt this week!

Donny Osmond/Kym Johnson (Rumba=21): Anybody shocked that Donny has never been called a "Latin Lover"? Except maybe by Bruno now. He seemed really uncomfortable during the entire rehearsal and the entire dance. Geez--I don't remember Marie being that reserved. The one thing I found really odd was the beginning of their dance. Kym just stood there for about 15 seconds and Donny danced (well...waved his arms around) in front of her. Typically the professional does the dancing around while the "star" just stands around. I can't even discuss the very awkward Donny and Bruno moment that seemed to go on forever. And please tell me that Samantha didn't say that they might have gotten a better score from Bruno if Donny had "given him some tongue"!!

Michael Irvin/Anna Demidova (Samba=14): Okay, do they have the market cornered on florescent-hot-pink-bordering-on-red costumes? Is that just fabric Wardrobe hasn't been able to pawn off on anyone else until now? Did they decide to stick "the new girl" with the ugliest colored fabric they have gathering dust in the storeroom? Poor Michael. I just don't think the Samba was his dance. He seemed to have arm movements confused with chest-action (which is what I think he was going for) and upper body spasms confused with hip movement (which is what he should have been going for). I think his only hope of sticking around is if every football fan in America voted for him 13 times.

Natalie Coughlin/Alec Mazo (Rumba=26): Thank goodness Edyta made a cameo appearance so I can talk about her (lack of) clothing! She looked like she was wearing a one-piece Esther Williams swimsuit. Apparently that was meant to make our swimmer feel more comfortable because no one...and I mean no one...could possibly consider that daywear. Could they? And then Natalie was sent out onto the dance floor wearing something Edyta would have worn--a silver bikini with the requisite sheer white fabric covering one arm and then slashing across her body and ending in a point between her legs. But...their dance was very smooth and very sexy. And she even seemed to be breathing--or maybe gasping from the cold. I bet we're going to see this as the judge's encore dance tonight.

Chuck Liddell/Anna Trebunskaya (Samba=17): Perhaps we can all just agree that this wasn't his dance--it was very choppy and awkward (possibly slowed down by the hot pink and black nailpolish on his toes?)--and get onto the important stuff: the costumes! Again, who designs these things? Since when do rust/brick red match pink and yellow? Last week they had Tony Dovolani in that color and look what happened to him and Kathy Ireland! Chuck's only saving grace was that he got to rip the stupid ruffled pink and yellow sleeves off at the beginning of the dance. Thank goodness, or we might have been so distracted that we mightn't have noticed the rust/brick red fringe across his chest. I know I've said I love fringe, but I meant on women!!

Aaron Carter/Karina Smirnoff (Rumba=21): I guess Aaron didn't believe Karina that he was overdancing in rehearsals, huh? Usually they can't get the men to move their hips at all, but Aaron couldn't stop moving his in a very over-exaggerated manner. But I loved Karina's dress--silver with a ruffled bottom and spangly/sparkly things all over the bodice. I guess the time they spent on that costume cut into the time they might have spent on Aaron's. Royal blue trousers with a limp, satiny smoking jacket-like thing?

Tom DeLay/Cheryl Burke (Samba=15): Honestly. Drop out, Tom. We aren't going to think you're a wimp or anything--you have two fractured feet! If you stay in the competition, we are going to start questioning your sanity though. I am glad they got to show off the most adorable costumes of the evening. I loved Cheryl's blue with silver stars sequined dress, which sported an even more sequined donkey. And Tom's riverboat gambler/barbershop quartet red and white striped shirt, which sported a sequined elephant, was equally charming. I kept wondering what the heck he had in his waistband, but found out when he pulled out the play money and threw it up in the air. I usually hate when the "stars" lip sync to the music, but they did closeups on his face during two lines--one about "how your money's spent" (throw money in the air!) and one about him "wanting to be President". Very cute!

Kelly Osbourne/Louis Van Amstel (Samba=20): I'm glad Kelly seemed to get her nerves under control. I really think she has potential. But...why the lime green nailpolish? Were the mani/pedi appointments all used up by Chuck Liddell and his daughter? And why the red wig? I loved her hair the first week and haven't seen it since. And I couldn't quite figure out the color of her dress--kind of a goldy, coppery, blackish thing that seemed to clash with Louis' satin leopard-print shirt. Again, patterned fabric in the ballroom? Nope. I don't like it. Oh...I liked their Samba. It wasn't great, but it was a solid performance.

So...who will do better at predicting an ultimate winner? We, the viewing public, or ABC's filler du jour segment featuring Steve Wozniak, a statistical expert and a chimpanzee? This could be a cute segment, but I fear it's going to be ridiculous instead.

Happy viewing!!

Week Three Scorecard

2009-10-04T20:10:00.001-05:00

Are we ready for Week Three's Sambas and Rumbas? Don't forget to vote in the poll on the right and let me know who you think should go home next.

Here is your play-along-at-home scorecard:

Dancing With the Stars Scorecard--Week 3

And Then There Were 13...

2009-09-30T18:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, these results shows are starting to get on my nerves a bit. There's just too darned much filler that has absolutely nothing to do with ballroom dancing. So...in no particular order, here's what I thought:

--I hated Samantha's hair and the great big black spider she appeared to be wearing around her neck. But her black mermaid dress looked great on her.

--Loved Mýa's encore dance. It was probably the best dance of the evening.

--Joss Stone sang while two professional dancers I've never heard of danced. Geez. They've got Jonathan and Edyta--couldn't they have danced?

--The Dancing With the Stars Training Center was kind of interesting. I wonder if that's so the producers can control how many hours the "stars" are rehearsing and, thus, avoid lawsuits around potential injuries? But some of them could use a little extra after school practice time, don't you think?

--Disney's Selena Gomez sang with Derek and Karina dancing. Pardon me for noticing, but does Karina seem to be taking over for Edyta in the lack of clothing department? I hope so--I miss making fun of Edyta.

--The Bad Habits filler segment was pretty lame. The professional dancers were all whining about how many bad habits their "stars" have, which they have to fix before they can teach them how to dance. Excuses, excuses.

--What does the USC Trojan Marching Band have to do with ballroom dancing again? And...why did they all have sunglasses on...in the building? Were the breakdancer/acrobats and stomping/clomping finger snapping guys supposed to be our salute to dancers this week, Macy's? I knew it was too good to be true when they brought us actual talent last week!

--Joss Stone's "Son of a Preacher Man" was accompanied by Dmitry, Louie, Anna and Cheryl performing a Samba. But, I just wanted to tell Cheryl to get her hair out of her eyes the entire time.

--And then, after all the suspense of having Louie Vito, Debi Mazar and Kathy Ireland "in jeopardy", they announced a bottom two. This may just have been to scare Debi into not chattering throughout her entire rehearsal time...or just a nod to the fact that she probably has no fan base. I am still ot sure who she is.

--And so, Kathy Ireland and Tony Dovolani dance off into DWTS obscurity to the strains of "If I Could Turn Back Time". Oh, well. Doesn't she have a multi-million dollar empire to run or something?

Week Two Dances

2009-09-29T13:00:00.017-05:00

This is a lot of "stars" to review! I can't wait until we get down to a manageable number of (good!) dancers. Did you notice an excessive number of audience boos when the scores were announced?

So...in alphabetical order:

Aaron Carter/Karina Smirnoff (Quickstep=27): Did you know Aaron's bright green leprechaun costume was representing Kermit? Did you know Karina's big feathery cream-colored skirt was representing Miss Piggy? It reminded me more of Big Bird...without the schoolbus yellow. Overall a cute, clever and very fast Quick Step.

Chuck Liddell/Anna Trebunskaya (Tango=19): I swear Anna's costume was a remake of one of Karina's from last year--and they just added a new full skirt to it. It's hard to forget a sheer black costume, no? I'm having a hard time keeping all the tatoos straight this season, but Chuck added Geico gechos to either side of his head? This might be taking endorsements just a bit too far. Their dance was w-a-y too aggressive. I know the Tango is supposed to be aggressive, but this was just aggressive in a mean-scowling-man-lumbering-around-the-dance-floor sort of way.

Debi Mazar/Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango=21): Very intense Tango. But, Debi seemed behind the beat for much of the dance. I wasn't crazy about her black and red hooker costume either. And Maks needs to lighten up on her a little. I think she's really trying. Maybe if he and Karina just got back together, both of their partners would have it a little easier this season. Add one more to the tally of the number of times Maks pinched Tom's butt this season.

Donny Osmond/Kym Johnson (Jive=25): I'm still feeling little depressed since they announced that Donny is the second oldest contestant on the show this season. Um...he's my age, which makes him very young! Now, let's get to the important stuff. Can someone please explain Kym's costume to me? It just looked like one big mess of junk thrown together. But, Carrie Ann thought it was hot. Huh? Maybe she was really referred to Donny's purple velvet suit, which looked not only hot (temperature wise), but way too big for him. Did someone in Wardrobe call in sick this week?? Their Jive was pretty good though. Not great, but pretty good.

Joanna Krupa/Derek Hough (Jive=20): Cute fringe skirt. Weird long ratty hair. Ammo belt across her abs. This is a Jive costume? Their dance was fine if you didn't look too closely, but her feet seemed to be all over the place.

Kathy Ireland/Tony Dovolani (Quick Step=18): In the slowest Quick Step in recorded history, Kathy lumbered around the ballroom in a lavender flouncy ballgown, which sported matching ribbon sleeves. If I didn't know she was paired with Tony, I wouldn't have been able to tell by their costumes. He was wearing a rusty/brick colored thing. It was just kind of a mess. And, let's don't forget to mention Samantha's question, which she was probably practicing all week: "Shall they dance another week?"

Kelly Osbourne/Louis Van Amstel (Tango=19): Poor Kelly. She lost it and panicked (her words) this week. I probably would have lost it, too, if they made me go out in public with a 1950s housewife blonde braid wrapped around my really cute hair and put me in a red satin dress that wasn't at all flattering to my midsection. I'd really like to see her stick around, but she seemed to have made a lot of mistakes in her Tango.

Louis Vito/Chelsie Hightower (Jive=19): Oh, it was a good thing Len was absent this week--he would have hated all the acrobatics (flip at the beginning and splits) in this Jive routine. They were both wearing weird costumes--again, they didn't seem to match each other. His footwork was good...when he remembered it, but he seemed to lose his place several times. And pulling out the ol' guitar leg move is getting tired...at least I'm getting tired of it.

Mark Decascos/Lacey Schwimmer (Quick Step=21): This Quick Step was fast and clever and I loved the leap at the beginning. Mark talked about slipping, but I didn't see it. Admittedly, it was about midnight when I was watching my DVR, but I like him and want him to stick around. I also liked their cute Roaring Twenties costumes--especially Lacey's beige satin dress with the fox fur shoulder strap. I don't think it was authentic like mine though--my furs have toenails and everything! I'll show them to you sometime.

Melissa Joan Hart/Mark Ballas (Jive=19): At least their costumes matched--I knew they were dance partners in their red and white polka dot Minnie Mouse outfits. Poor Melissa's feet just didn't seem to want to move. I think Mark was trying to distract us though because he was apparently wearing Michael Jackson's Thriller shoes and socks. Melissa's hair looked cute in its pony tail though.

Michael Irvin/Anna Demidova (Quick Step=20): Wait a minute. Maybe Michael can dance. There should be a prize for anyone who can put a name to the color of their costumes--and they totally clashed! I'm going with deep orchid and florescent hot pink. Hello, Wardrobe? Are you on strike this week or something? Anyway, the dance was better than last week (faint praise!), but his footwork was kind of sluggish.

Mýa/Dmitry Chaplin (Jive=27): My favorite dance of the night. Cute flapper costume--lots of silver and dark grey fringe. But the tape on the big black glasses/too short pants with white socks gimmick has been done to death on this show. I'm just blaming Wardrobe again. (I didn't realize I was mad at them until now, but I'm annoyed!)

Natalie Coughlin/Alec Mazo (Quick Step=21): The Queen of Chlorine can't stop holding her breath. So, what's the problem? Maybe Alec should ease into it and just ask her to breathe when she gets to the end of the dance floor--just like in swimming. I liked their Quick Step and thought her splits at the end were very impressive. But, again, Wardrobe??? His pants were way too long and her flowy lavender dressed looked too big. But, her hair looked nice--kind of synchronized swimmer style.

Tom DeLay/Cheryl Burke (Tango=18): Suffering from a pre-stress fracture, their routine wasn't too bad. At least it was significantly better than last week. But, um...Tom? Almost dropping your partner is not a good thing, nor does it win you points with the audience. Loved when Samantha asked him what he's hearing from his friends and he said, "24 members of Congress think I'm crazy."

I liked Samantha's one-armed blue dress. I didn't understand it, but I liked it!

Your Scorecard for Monday Night

2009-09-27T16:27:00.000-05:00

Hello, Dance Fans. Since ABC doesn't seem to be consulting me on what will be coming up this week, I'm guessing (hoping?!) the relay dance continues. I found it really helpful to judge and compare the dancers during the relay--same music, same dance, and similar costumes. I've included space on this week's scorecard for relay dance scores. If they don't do a relay dance, just ignore those columns. I've also added the dial-in numbers next to each of the professional dancer's names, so don't forget to call in for your favorites.

DWTS Scorecard Week 2

They're Holding a Spot for You In the Losers' Club

2009-09-24T13:53:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm ready to slit my wrists. NOT because Macy Gray and Ashley Hamilton were kicked off the show (I mean welcomed into the Losers' Club!), but because Edyta is being sent home as well. I LOVE making fun of her outfits (or lack thereof). I'm really upset about this! Had I only known, I would have made fun of her legwarmers more.

I really liked the entire program last night. It was fast-paced and there wasn't a lot of totally useless filler. And the filler segments they did were actually amusing. I actually thought the Losers' Club was very funny. Kenny Mayne, Penn Jillette and Jeffrey Ross did an admirable job of representing the club members. But what about the others? Trista Rehn Sutter? Tucker Carlson? Paulina Porizkova? Josie Maran? Monica Seles? Belinda Carlisle? What? They were all too busy to attend last night's televised club meeting?

And as long as the club has been formed, don't you think they ought to go ahead and let Jonathan Roberts and Edyta Sliwinska in, too? This is not the first time Edyta has been sent home first--thanks to Jeffrey Ross. Nor is it the first time Jonathan Roberts has gone home first--thanks to both Monica Seles and Belinda Carlisle. In fact, Jonathan goes down in DWTS history as the first professional dancer to get kicked off first in two consecutive seasons. (Cheers from the crowd!!) How humiliating. Hopefully they get paid for the whole season and not just for the shows they actually manage to stay on.

Oh, and I'm not going to miss Ashley Hamilton or Macy Gray. Neither of them had even a tiny bit of rhythm and Ashley Hamilton has no discernable fan base. I mean, really, without the "George Hamilton's son" after his name, did you really know who he was? I think his only claim to fame was being married to Shannen Doherty for about 10 minutes and who cares about that? And, Macy Gray? The woman couldn't walk across the room in time to the music, so I don't think her DWTS career had a lot of long-term potential. And if Jonathan wasn't right next to her all the time, could she actually stand up on her own? She looked like she was using him as a crutch to hold herself upright.

The special performances?

Okay, Sean Kingston. I actually only know how to spell his name because I checked the "Info" button on my remote after he was introduced. Rap and ballroom dance. What's the connection again? I guess there were some dancers behind him that looked like they were doing a little Swing or something. That must have been it.

Miley Cyrus? Her ballroom dance connection? Dancers behind her doing ballroom dance moves? None. Actual ballroom dance moves performed by her during her video? None--although Julianne Hough used to do some of that hair flinging stuff Miley was doing. Miley's father, Billy Ray, was on season 4--maybe that's the connection. And since when do we show videos instead of doing live performances on DWTS? Kind of lame. Besides, I can't believe that the DWTS audience is the demographic that her music video is aimed at.

I did love "The Lion King" performance. The costumes are spectacular (in fact, I just read this morning that some of them are headed to The Smithsonian) and the performance was very cool. Even if it wasn't directly related to ballroom dancing, I'd take a performance like that over a Miley Cyrus video any ol' day. Let's hope the Macy's Stars of Dance performances continue to be of this caliper, rather than the nonsense we were subjected to last season.

Adam Corolla, who I guess was so upset at being excluded from the Losers' Club that he had to muscle his way in somehow, brought us the pre-game locker room pep talk the men hadn't been wanting. Although his question to Donny Osmond, "Donny, you're 51 years old. When do we get to call you Don?" was what I've been thinking for the past several weeks.

And I loved the salute to Patrick Swayze. Actually, any time I can see the professional dancers do a routine, it's a real treat, and last night we got to watch several minutes of truly lovely dancing. Much better than most of the Macy's Stars of Dance performances! Why doesn't Macy's sponsor that?!

That's it until next week!

It Was Ladies' Night

2009-09-23T11:42:00.001-05:00

"She's a Lady" was a great kickoff to an evening full of dancing that, well...wasn't as bad as Macho Monday. Overall, the ladies were far better than the men. In fact, I'd rather send two men home and keep all the ladies, except that we'd then have to endure another week of Macy Gray.

So, in the order of their appearance, so we don't confuse Samantha (I loved her hair last night!) Harris:

Debi Mazar. My favorite Samantha-ism of the evening was when Sam introduced her as Debi "May-czar", which was immediately followed by Debi introducing herself as Debi "May-zer". I know 16 names is a lot to learn, but did you have much else to do over the summer? Debi was covered in red sequins and red feathers, one of which wound up on the dance floor at the very beginning and had me obsessing about her slipping on it during the entire dance. If Maks is wearing suspenders with an open red vest on week one, how little is he going to be wearing by the end of the show? Oh...and I guess they danced, didn't they? Red costumes must have meant they did the Salsa. I liked it--I gave them an 8. For those of us keeping score (me!): Number of times during Season 9 that Maks pinched Tom's bottom? One (so far)

Melissa Joan Sabrina The Teenage Witch Hart. Apparently I was only looking at costumes last night, but did you notice during the big leaping-up-as-far-in-the-air-as-possible-in-slow-motion intro that Mark has a big tatoo on his left ab/side? It looks like a bunch of script writing. Maybe it's a cheat sheet for which dance is slow-slow-quick-quick and which is quick-quick-slow? Anyway, Mark and Sabrina (oops...Season 5 flashback!) did a lovely Viennese Waltz. Lovely white floaty dress with silver sparkles.

Mýa. Apparently her name has an accent mark over it--probably to make up for her lack of a last name. You know how I've been upset about the lack of names with apostrophes this season! Although, considering how much of a pain it is to add it, I might have already forgotten all about it. Her Viennese Waltz was full of beautiful lines, graceful twirls, and I loved her run and drop/slide at the end of the dance. And she was wearing my favorite color--periwinkle--with a lovely demure Audrey Hepburn bow at the chest. Loved it! And another thing: Do you know how hard it is to alphabetize a list when one person doesn't have a last name?!

Kathy Ireland. When I first saw Kathy and Tony come out on stage for their Salsa, I was wondering why on earth Tony's pants were so long. They were actually to the floor. But, as soon as he started moving, I figured out it was to cover the three-inch heels he was wearing to try to appear taller than Kathy. She looks like she's well over six feet, which she might very well be in those four-inch heels of hers. I don't think she's going to be around too long. She has absolutely no sense of rhythm, no hip action, and (according to Bruno) no sexiness. But, I loved her gold-colored fringy dress.

Natalie Coughlin. I kind of liked her Salsa. I thought she had good hip action and nice arms, but she seemed to keep coming to a dead stop and then starting again. Had she been in a pool, I think she might have drowned! Loved her fringy outfit, but I've never been a big fan of the big ol' ruffly multi-colored tails they put on Salsa outfits. But I'm grateful Alec refrained from the cliched get-down-on-one-knee-and-rapidly-fluff-up-your-partner's-Salsa-tail move. I'm looking forward to seeing her again.

Macy Gray. A little bit eccentric? Um, Jonathan, a little bit eccentric? She takes "eccentric" to a whole new level! I feel so sorry for Jonathan. He seems like such a nice guy and he tries so hard, but he just keeps getting lousy partners. But, heh, he might make DWTS history by being the first professional to be sent home the first week in consecutive seasons! Their routine didn't seem to contain a lot of content. Not that I blame Jonathan. Do you think Macy could have handled any more content? She had a hard time handling walking across the room. And what's with Len saying if he were at home, he'd be voting for Macy? Did he misunderstand the rules? Does he think you call in to vote for the person you want to send home, rather than those you want to have stay? And, I don't know what Macy said during her pre-score interview with Samantha (since it was bleeped), but I'm pretty sure it was something that would make Donny Osmond blush...all the way back to Utah!

Joanna Krupa. Oh, boy. Number one, was this her night to wear the ugly yellow fringe pants costume? And, now that Derek has broken up with his Season Six partner, Shannon Elizabeth, (via Twitter no less!) is he trying to replace her with Joanna Krupa? Isn't she a little old for him? Anyway, in spite of the gastly yellow fringe pants, their Salsa was hot and contained lots of great moves (a/k/a content) for Len.

Kelly Osbourne. Is she the biggest surprise of the season? I love her hair! In fact, I want that hairstyle, but I need to find a picture or I'm afraid my stylist will misunderstand and I'll wind up with a hot pink mohawk or something from her tragic (hair style-wise) past. Loved her Viennese Waltz--it was graceful and full of content. Loved her spin and slide across the floor--even if the lift police (Carrie Ann) did notice her foot coming off the ground. I was a little startled at first by her costume. Navy blue isn't a typical color for a Waltz dress. Aren't they usually really pale colors? But I loved the heavy satin fabric, which seemed to move so nicely. And her long, hot pink chiffon scarf brought a lovely punch of color to the costume. I was wondering how her mother, "America's Got Talent" judge, Sharon Osbourne, would react to her daughter being judged. Especially since Sharon is the "nice" judge on her show. But since Kelly only got accolades from the judges, I assumed she'd be beaming, but she was a big, sobbing mess. What's she going to be like if Kelly gets negative feedback? Geez.

The Relay Dance? I really love the concept of this. Love comparing apples to apples during the fast-paced dance routines. After all, it's kind of hard to remember how the last person danced when you've got to watch 38 commercials between each of the regular performances!

Foxtrot Relay
#1 Joanna Kruppa: Nice and graceful, but her hair was a big weird mess!
#2 Natalie Coughlin: Really graceful with great arms...and elegant hair, (Joanna take note!). But I don't think she liked coming in second one little bit!
#3 Debi Mazar: Nice, but not great.
#4 Kathy Ireland: Really slow. Plus, she got the dreaded "elegant" comment from the judges. We all remember that's code for "old", don't we?

Cha Cha Cha Relay
#1 Mýa: I already hate that accent mark! Really fast--perfect for a Cha Cha.
#2 Kelly Osbourne: Great footwork. And I loved that her rehearsal footage showed her obsessing that her "bum" wiggled during one of the moves. Don't worry, the dress covered that all up! Note to self: Wear more fringe!
#3 Melissa Joan Hart: Should have gotten extra points for doing splits at the end. Very impressive.
#4 Macy Gray: Slow, choppy, and she had one really awkward move at the end that should have looked nice, but wound up looking like she was squatting. Oh, and she kept looking like she was posing at the end of every move.

Random observations that I've neglected to include elsewhere:
--Jerry wants to know where the band singer gets all those headband things she wears across her forehead. Does she have a whole wardrobe of them?
--Was that LaToya Jackson in the audience right before Joanna Krupa came out in her horrendous yellow fringe pants?
--I loved Samantha's hair last night. Oops. I might have already said that. I must be obsessed with hair right now because I hate mine. It needs to be cut or something.
--Did the Wardrobe Department find a huge sale on fringe over the summer? There seems to be a lot of fringe on the costumes this year. Not that I'm complaining. I think fringe is my new favorite.
--Baz Luhrmann is going to be next week's special guest host. I guess Michael Flatley is booked with plumbing jobs in Chicago's south suburbs, huh?
--We know someone who used to be Baz Luhrmann's wife's personal assistant. She got to go to the Tony awards a few years ago and be a seat filler. If I'm ever on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" I want her to be my pop culture phone a friend.
--Which judge is taking next week off? Maybe Len to get over his crankiness?

I can't wait to see who's eliminated tonight. Macy Gray for sure. But for the men? I think it's a dead heat between Tom DeLay, Chuck Liddell, and Ashley Hamilton. I'm going with Ashley Hamilton.

The Men Dance 'Cuz It's "Macho Monday"

2009-09-21T23:59:00.000-05:00

Oh, boy. Where do I begin? I'm not sure about sending home one man and one woman this week because unless the women really suck, they're going to have a hard time being worse than some of tonight's men!

--On a positive note, I loved the "Boys are Back In Town" opening number!
--I've really missed the sparkly dresses and the feathers and the fringe.
--Who was that guy with Marie Osmond? And why did the camera man have to keep showing them?
--Donny's "Yeah, baby!" is getting on my nerves already and I've only heard it twice so far.
--Loved the addition of the relay dance. I really like getting to compare the dancers side by side with the same music and similar costumes.
--Nice to see Gilles and Shawn in the audience.
--Kelly Osbourne has really cute hair (if she'd just lose the big, red, floppy bow).
--I just can't wait (yeah, right!) to hear Miley Cyrus' music video premier on Wednesday. I'm just sure it's going to be full of ballroom dancing. Because, why else would it be on DWTS????
--Did you see Cheryl's Jazzercise commercial? Very inspiring, but she owns a flipping dance studio and she's made her own dance/exercise DVD, so I seriously doubt she's out signing up for Jazzercise classes. I'm such a skeptic!

Now, before we get to the dancing, I have a question. You've lived your life, you've gone to some school dances, you've been to a few weddings. Is there anybody out there who doesn't know how they rank as a dancer? I mean, honestly, we all know whether we are fabulous, decent, not too embarrassing, or should only be dancing in a dark room where there is no possible way another human being could possibly see us, right? Why don't these "stars" seem to be able to assess themselves honestly before they go on national television? I mean, we've all seen the trainwrecks in past seasons. Did Tucker Carlson think he was a good dancer? Might the fact that his professional partner had him "dance" the first half of his dance sitting in a chair have been a clue? How about Kenny Mayne? Penn Jillette? Jeffrey Ross? I'm struggling to figure out which of tonight's men doesn't have a spouse or friend who could honestly to say to them, "Really? Are you sure it's a good idea to go on national television and compete against 15 other people who just might have a little more natural ability than you do? Why don't we just take a little vacation instead?" Because apparently Michael Irvin, Tom DeLay, and Chuck Liddell don't have any honest people in their lives. Okay, maybe everyone Chuck Liddell knows is afraid of him...but the others?

So, in the order in which they danced (so we don't confuse Samantha Harris):

Aaron Carter. I'm still not sure who the heck he is, but he was pretty darned good at the Cha Cha Cha and his Viennese Waltz was very smooth and he had great arm extensions. Now to the really important part: what Karina was wearing. I thought her feather-bottomed practice costume on day one might have been a little formal for daytime, but I guess it was just preparing us for her yellow fringe pants and white bra top for their Cha Cha Cha. Haven't we seen those extremely unattractive yellow fringe pants on both Julianne Hough and Brooke Burke? Is the costume department so overworked with 16 couples that they are recycling past costumes...and ugly ones at that??

Chuck Liddell. Again, don't know who he is, but he had my vote for first-to-be-eliminated before he ever set foot on stage. Little did I know how stiff the competition was going to be for last place! Poor Anna Trebunskaya. They finally talk her into coming back after being gone for two seasons, and she gets stuck with Chuck? All I've got to say (using pretty much all the boxing terminology I know) is: He's not gonna be a contender! But at least Anna got to wear a lovely dress containing both feathers and sparkles!

Mark Decascos. He has great hips, but I have to agree with Len--I don't want to see kung fu in every dance. In this case, the "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting" music supported it, but it's too much "messing about" and not enough dancing. Lacey's red silk Asian outfit was really cute though. They can stick around a while as far as I'm concerned. Their Viennese Waltz was pretty good, but a little choppy. Can't wait to see him in a tux!

Ashley Hamilton. Come on. His dad was on the show. He's got to know how much work it is. Did he think he had any potential whatsoever? I'm sorry he was in a motorcycle accident and that he spent a year in a wheelchair, but the guy can't dance! Apparently his hips are incapable of moving at all and he has absolutely no charisma. On a positive note, his dad's tan looked nice. And, wasn't that an awful lot of clothing for Edyta to be wearing during their Fox Trot? From the front anyway! (snicker, snicker)

Donny Osmond. We all know he's a good dancer (well, though of us who faithfully watched "The Donny and Marie Show" in the '70s)...and he didn't disappoint tonight. His Fox Trot was nice, he had great music ("All That Jazz"), and he certainly has a fan base among women who...um...are no longer teenagers, shall we say. I thought it was hysterical when Kym pointed out how embarrassed he gets when she asks him to do slightly risky moves. And I agreed his Salsa was the best of the bunch. Was that his wife he ran out and kissed in the audience...or just some random blonde who will never wash her lips again as long as she lives? I'm just askin'.

Louie Vito. I find it amazing that someone who has never seen an episode of DWTS agreed to do the program. Do you think he realized it wasn't performed on a snowy mountain? But, what do you expect from a "Dancing Hobbit"? (Like Bruno is so tall?!) I was really worried during the rehearsal footage because he just looked like a sloppy mess, but he wasn't as bad as some of the others, so I think he's going to be around for a while. Although, like him, his fan base probably isn't watching the program on a regular basis.

Michael Irvin. He knows Jerry Rice finished second in Season Two. Did he honestly think he was going to beat him? Since I think there's a fair chance he's not going to be around much longer, I better just tell you right now that we (Jer and I) practically know Anna Demidova. She and her professional partner were at a ballroom dance we went to in February. They did an amazing demonstration of a lot of different dance styles and at one point she was about a foot away from us. That's my brush with ballroom dance fame! I loved her red fringe dress tonight. In fact, I kind of want that red fringe dress. I'm sure it would be a big hit around Huntley. Back to Michael. I actually thought he had some brief seconds of decent Cha Cha Cha-ing, but it was surrounded by a bunch of him standing around and striking awkward poses. Carrie Ann thinks Anna needs to give him more content? Let's wait and see how that plays out.

Tom DeLay. Let's just start with the important stuff. T-shirts tucked into sweat pants is not a good look! In fact, any shirt tucked into pants that come up to your armpits is not a good look. Glad I got that off my chest. What did I think? He wasn't the worst dancer I've ever seen. In fact, he was probably a little better than I thought he'd be. But a "Wild Thing"? I don't think by any stretch of the imagination. Cheryl looked pretty good in her sparkly red bikini with the ever-popular cross-body sheer wrap...in leopard print no less! She looks like she lost weight during the off season, 'cuz she was looking a little chunky last season. I guess the Jazzercise is working for her. They did a little mini interview with Tom DeLay and Cheryl on "Good Morning America" this morning. Tom asked Cheryl what she thought when she found out he was going to be her partner. Cheryl's answer? "I've got to be honest with you Tom, I had to Google you." I think that's hysterical! Oh, and I have to disagree with the judges on his Viennese Waltz in the relay dance. I actually think he was better than Michael Irvin.

Get those scoresheets ready because tomorrow night (okay, I guess tonight now) is Ladies' Night! More sparkles! More fringe! More feathers! Bring it on!!

What did you think? Leave a comment so we'll all know.

This Week's Eliminations

2009-09-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

I found out on "Good Morning America" this morning that two people will be eliminated this week--one man and one woman. I've adjusted the poll at the side of the Blog so there are two separate polls--one for the man you think will be eliminated first and one for the woman. The men are dancing tonight and the woman tomorrow night. I like that--it will make it easier to compare them. Happy viewing!!

Only one more day!

2009-09-20T17:34:00.004-05:00

Season 9 of "Dancing With the Stars" starts tomorrow. I'm getting my TV set warmed up right now...actually, my DVR. You won't believe this, but we're not going to be home tomorrow night! I know, it's shocking, isn't it? But since neither ABC, nor Lyric Opera of Chicago, seems inclined to change their schedules, I'm just going to have to watch it on DVR. And if there's a power outage, I'm coming to YOUR house to watch it on your DVR, so don't delete it right away, okay?

If you're reading this...and I have no idea who might be...please leave a comment predicting who you think will win this season's fabulous, sparkly mirror ball trophy. Please post your comments before 7:00 p.m. tomorrow night. Yes! Before the first "star" makes that fateful voyage (I hesitate to use the word "trip") down the curved staircase, I want to know who you think is going to win.

Based on the fact that I know almost nothing about any of the "stars", and might only recognize four...maybe five...of them in a lineup, I'm going with Mark Decascos. And that, my friends, is because I think he's very handsome. But, I'm also predicting Donny Osmond is going to be in finals.

I can hardly wait!!

Here's your Week One scorecard, so you can play along at home. To print it, double click on the blue title "Score Sheet Week 1" and click on print...or click the drop down next to the word "More" and click on print. Happy viewing!

Score Sheet Week 1

Season 9 Pairs Announced

2009-08-24T16:53:00.002-05:00

Hello, Dance Fans. The professional dancer/"star" pairs were announced today.

I wonder how they are determined? Perhaps someone thinks it's Kym's turn to win because she's paired with Donny Osmond. She deserves a chance at the sparkly mirror ball trophy after having suffered through Jerry Springer and Penn Jillette. Two-time winner Cheryl, on the other hand, has Tom DeLay. I'm not sure I hold out a lot of hope for him...in spite of the fact that his daughter apparently is a professional dancer. Maybe he'll surprise me.

Anyway, the pairings...along with the backgrounds of each of the professional dancers...are shown below:

Alec Mazo
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Natalie Coughlin
BACKGROUND: We all came to know this guy four years ago as the dancer who famously became the first professional champion of Dancing with the Stars, having successfully partnered with Kelly Monaco in Season 1.Alec Mazo has been dancing since he was five years old. He moved to America from Russia with his family when he was 12. His mother started a dance studio in San Francisco, and today Alec runs two ballroom dance schools—one in the San Francisco Bay Area and another in Los Angeles. Mazo and his wife—fellow DWTS pro Edyta Swilinska—only turned professional in 2005, having been successful amateur Latin competitors for the previous five years. He studied acting at Playhouse West. In 1998, Alec appeared in the Vanessa Williams (of ABC's Ugly Betty) movie Dance with Me. He has also had roles in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and CSI: NY. Alec has a BA in Cognitive Science from University of California in Berkeley.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--Emerald Ball Latin Amateur Champion
--1st Place - 2001 International Grand Ball (San Francisco)
--1st Place - 2001 Holiday Ball (Las Vegas, Nevada)
--Six-time U.S. National Finalist

Anna Demidova
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Michael Irvin
BACKGROUND: This blonde beauty made her DWTS debut in the celebrity round of the Season 8 pro-dancer competition. She eventually won, which clinched us getting to watch her cut a rug as a Season 9 professional. Anna was born in Moscow, Russia. She started dancing when she was just 6 years old in an after school program at the local community center, following in the footsteps of her older sister, world champion Katusha Demidova. At the age of 15, Anna won the British Open Junior Ballroom Championship and the Ireland Open Championship. After finishing high school in Moscow, Anna moved to New York to live with her sister and pursue her dancing career. She began dancing with Andrei Begunov, with whom she was very successful. After becoming the United States Youth Champions in 2005 and 2006, they represented the U.S. at the World Championships where they made the finals. They also placed 1st at the Ohio Star Ball, Kings Ball, Tri Sate Challenge, BYU Championship and many more competitions in the youth category. After her partnership with Andrei ended, Anna started dancing with Igor Mikushov, with whom she won many competitions such as the Ohio Star Ball, Emerald Ball, Manhattan DanceSport Championship, Tri State Championship and San Francisco Open. They were also Blackpool Under 21 Ballroom Finalists, United Kingdom Open Finalists and International Championship Grand Finalists. Practicing and teaching takes up most of Anna's time, but in her spare time she has also taken up modeling, which she has been doing since moving to New York three years ago.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--International Grand Ball 10 Dance Champion
--USA Dance National Standard Champion
--2 Time U.S. Youth International Standard Champion

Anna Trebunskaya
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Chuck Liddell
BACKGROUND: A native of Russia, Anna has been dancing ever since she was six years old. We're thinking it was only natural, as her parents owned a dance studio. She took part in her first competition at the age of seven. And guess what? She won! It was the start of a trend, as she's been winning awards and accolades as an amateur and pro ever since! Anna moved to the U.S. with her parents in 1998 when she was 17. Both mom and dad were professional ballroom dancers, and her mother still makes her costumes today. Way to keep it all in the family, Anna! In Season Two of DWTS, Anna paired with football great Jerry Rice to make the finals, and ultimately a second place finish. In Season Five, she paired with model Albert Reed and in Season 6 she danced with actor/funnyman Steve Guttenberg. But none of those pairings compare to the one she has offstage. We just love the fact that Anna is married to fellow DWTS pro Jonathan Roberts. Wonder if they carpool to work.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--International Grand Ball Champion
--U.K. Championships
--International Grand Ball Champion
--2004 USA Rising Star Latin Champion
--2003 Blackpool Rising Star Latin Finalist
--1998 USA Amateur Youth Standard (Ballroom) Champion

Chelsie Hightower
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Louie Vito
BACKGROUND: We're all pretty impressed that Chelsie has accomplished so much at such a young age. Do you realize that ever since she began competing at a high-level in ballroom, Chelsie has been in the finals and ranked as one of the top three couples in the country?! Not bad. Not bad at all. In 2006, Chelsie was a finalist on TV's So You Think You Can Dance where one judge said, "You move so well, you could make a mannequin look good." That's good news for some of the guys around here who look quite wooden whenever they try to bust a move. Chelsie has been helping other learn to dance since she was 15. She moved to North Carolina to teach and would fly to New York on weekends for lessons. She has been teaching at Center Stage in Utah where she's helped many students win national titles. She also teaches abroad. As busy as you are, Chelsie, we're so glad you found some time to do a little Dancing With The Stars!
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--U.S. Representative to the Worlds - 2005
--U.S National Standard Finalist - 2005
--International Latin Finalist - 2006
--10 Dance National Youth Champion - 2005

Cheryl Burke
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Tom DeLay
BACKGROUND: As the only professional dancer to appear in the DWTS finals three times, Cheryl has won over audiences with her creative choreography and effervescent personality. We suspect her dangerously low cut dresses might have something to do with it, too. Cheryl joined the show in the second season with a bang, winning back-to-back disco ball trophies with partner Drew Lachey in Season 2, and then with Emmitt Smith in Season 3. But don't let her sweet smile fool you—this girl has some sizzling hot moves and knows just how to show them off! "We want people to think something is going on, on the dance floor," says Cheryl. "You want people to be so uncomfortable watching it because we are going to be so sexy." Cheryl started ballet lessons at age 4 and was soon performing throughout her native Bay Area. "But at 11, I went to a competition and saw the costumes, heard the music, and loved that the dancers had partners," Burke explains. Incidentally, these are all the same reasons why we love DWTS! By the age of 13, Cheryl was traveling and competing throughout the world, later moving on to win several championships. Some of her triumphs include being the 2005 Ohio Star Ball Rising Star Champion, 2005 San Francisco Open Latin Champion and 2005 World Cup Professional Rising Star Latin Champion. Burke also clinched several UK Championship titles, and scored a fourth place showing in the U.S. "Under 21s" division. Capitalizing on her success with DWTS, Cheryl has started her own line of clothing and dance studio, Cheryl Burke Dance, with several locations throughout California. You also may have seen her as a guest star on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--2005 World Cup Professional Rising Star Latin Champion
--2005 San Francisco Open Latin Champion
--2005 Ohio Star Ball Rising Star Champion
--U.K. Championships
--4th in U.S. in the Under 21s

Derek Hough
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Joanna Krupa
BACKGROUND: For Derek, Dancing with the Stars is more than a competition—it's sibling rivalry. He not only dances against his younger sister Julianne, but also his best friend Mark Ballas. Derek started dancing at age 11. Just one year later, he and Julianne left their hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah, and moved to London to live and train with their dance coaches Shirley and Corky Ballas. He and their son Mark Ballas, also on Dancing with the Stars, are still best friends and perform in a band called the Ballas Hough Band. "In dancing, there's a lot of acting involved, and you have to combine both of them (the dancing and the acting) to put on a show, because that's our job." A multi-talented entertainer, Derek also performed on London's West End and played the lead in Footloose. One of the dancers on the first Dancing with the Stars Tour and a choreographer on the BBC (UK) hit show, Dance X, he recently took a break from competitive dance to focus on acting and singing. Derek danced with Polish dancer Aneta Piotrowska, who appeared on the Polish version of Dancing with the Stars. Derek says, "I loved doing the Rumba. It was amazing because everything was 100% genuine." Professionalism really comes into play when both partners are talented, but have no chemistry with each other. He feels as long as both people come across like they're having a good time, they can have a successful partnership. Derek would rather lose a competition knowing that he danced his absolute best, than win thinking he didn't deserve it. Even though he was not always technically the best in competitions, he concentrated on his connection with his partner and the audience. He really loves the recognition from his all his fans, especially the Latin dance fans who know the hard work and dedication it takes.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--World Under 21 Latin American Champion
--Two-time Open British Champion (Blackpool)
--Two-time International 'Open to the World Champion'
--Two-time US Open Champion

Dmitry Chaplin
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Mya
BACKGROUND: We first saw this young pro transition from So You Think You Can Dance to DWTS last season, when he was paired up with Holly Madison. Now he's shuffling back for more action in Season 9! Dmitry's ballroom dancing career began at the age of 12 in his home town of Rostov–on-Don in Russia. His perfect combination of technique and performance soon got him noticed by judges and teachers in his home country. After moving to the United States, his commitment to dance brought him to work with some of the best coaches in the ballroom world, including Louis Van Amstel and Shirley Ballas. Dmitry studied in both America and the United Kingdom, and began representing the U.S. at famous ballroom competitions around the world as one of the best dancers in the Under 21 division. In 2006, Dmitry's dance career took a different course when he joined the cast of the hit TV show So You Think You Can Dance. He became one of the Top 10 dancers, representing the ballroom world and establishing himself as an audience favorite. In the following season, Dmitry was invited back to choreograph for the show both in the U.S and for its international versions. Dmitry became the winner in the 2002 English Open Championships and a semi-finalist in the 2003 International Open to the World. That same year, Dmitry became the Open to the World Grandprix Champion (held in Tokyo) and was a semi finalist in the Dutch Open World Championships. In 2006 he was invited to represent the United States in the U.S. National Championships where he became a finalist.Dmitry also performed in the 2008 Idol Gives Back fundraiser for American Idol, and served as a judge the Broadway Dreams Dance Competition in Canada that same year.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--Ohio Star Ball Latin Finalist 2005
--U.S. National Finalist 2006

Edyta Sliwinska
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Ashley Hamilton
ACKGROUND: Edyta, who is known as much for her daring costumes as her dance moves, is the only professional dancer to appear on all eight seasons of Dancing With The Stars occasionally against her husband, Alex Mazo, winner of the first season of Dancing With The Stars. In 2000, Edyta left her native Poland to pursue her dream of becoming a world famous Latin dancer. She settled in San Franciso and partnered with Alex Mazo. Together, they won first place in the 2001 International Grand Ball and the 2001 Holiday Ball. The sacrifices she and her family made definitely paid off! After five years as dance partners, Edyta found herself competing against Alex on the first season of Dancing With The Stars. The competition obviously hasn't hurt their chemistry; they were married in 2007. She has travelled with the Dancing With The Stars tour and was also featured in the fiction section of the Dancing With The Stars book. Performing has sparked Edyta's interest in acting. With guest starring roles in popular TV shows, her talent in dance must be spilling over. "This is something that besides dancing I enjoy most. I know getting into acting is very tough, but if I have a little chance to do it,I''m really happy and I really have a great time doing it."
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--Emerald Ball Latin Amateur Champion
--1st Place - 2001 International Grand Ball (San Francisco)
--1st Place - 2001 Holiday Ball (Las Vegas, Nevada)

Jonathan Roberts
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Macy Gray
BACKGROUND: One of the highlights of Jonathan's performances on Dancing with the Stars was his tango with Steve Guttenberg in Season 6, famously called the "mango." Who knew this former basketball jock would become a world class ballroom dancer? We certainly would have never predicted it! The tango scene in the Al Pacino film Scent of a Woman sparked Jonathon's interest in dance. He took advantage of the free ballroom lesson offered on his movie ticket stub, and the rest is history. It was as much of a shock to Jonathan as it was to his family and friends when he discovered his dormant passion. At age 20, Jonathan got a late start in dancing, where most competitors are training practically after they're crawling. He quickly made up for it when he and his former partner won the 1997 USA Rising Star American Ballroom. Jonathan and his wife, fellow DWTS professional Anna Trebunskaya, have been dancing as partners for over six years. Although they've performed together for a relatively short time, they have made outstanding achievements in competitions around the world.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--2008 World Smooth Champion
--2008 United States Smooth Champion
--2004 USA Rising Star Latin Champion
--2003 Blackpool Rising Star Latin
--1997 USA Rising Star American Ballroom
--2 times undefeated USA pro-am 10 dance champions
--3 times undefeated USA pro-am Latin champions
--2 times USA pro-am American Ballroom champion

Karina Smirnoff
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Aaron Carter
BACKGROUND: Karina was born in the Ukraine before she made her way to the U.S. with her family at the age of 12. And speaking of her family, we're giving a great big shout out to Karina's folks for getting her started with ballet lessons when she was five. Think they had any idea what they started?!At the age of nine, Karina was introduced to ballroom dancing and fell in love with it. After high school, she graduated from Fordham University but put her academic studies on hold to pursue her ballroom dancing career in the United Kingdom.We first fell in love with Karina during Season 3 when she swung into a second place finish with partner Mario Lopez. Not bad for a DWTS rookie. The next season she finished fifth with Billy Ray Cyrus. The two would team up again after their last dance when Karina guest starred on Hannah Montana.Karina and her former partner Slavik Kryklyvyy shared tremendous success winning the U.S. Championships and many other world titles and were ranked second in the world in the Latin division.Some of the guys around here were bummin' when they heard fellow pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy popped the question to Karina on New Year's Eve of 2008. The happy couple continued their professional relationship as well, having spent the summer of 2009 performing in Broadway's Burn the Floor. That's great for the theater crowd, but we just can't to see Karina burn the floor on the DWTS stage!
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--Five-time U.S. National Champion
--World Trophy Champion
--Asian Open Champion

Kym Johnson
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Donny Osmond
BACKGROUND: If you're wondering who to thank for introducing Kym to the world of ballroom dancing, look no further than her immediate family. No, it wasn't her parents. It was her brother! Apparently, he thought dancing would be a good way to meet girls, so Kym was dragged along to the lessons. Way to go, bro! It wasn't long before Kym was dancing competitively. In December 1998, she and then-partner Tomas Atkocevicius came second at the Australian DanceSport Championships in the Open Amateur Modern Ballroom. However, we got our first DWTS glimpse of Kym she was paired with Jerry Springer in Season 3. Remember how Kym and Jerry were such fan favorites during their impressive run, which ended with a 5th Place finish? She stepped things up in Season 4 when she dazzled us on her way to a second place finish with Joey Fatone. Loved it! You could say Kym "got down under" when she appeared on Dancing with the Stars (Australia). She also appeared in several TV ads as well as a sexy modeling shoot for FHM magazine. But even though the camera loves her, you can't keep Kym off the dance floor for long, as she also performed on the world tour of the modern ballroom stage show Burn the Floor. Other highlights of her successful career include dancing at Elton John's 50th birthday party and appearing in the hit movie Strictly Ballroom. But we'll always love her for Dancing With The Stars!
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--Former Australian Amateur Ballroom and Latin champion
--Finalist U.K. Ballroom Championships at Blackpool
--Burn The Floor world tour
--Dancing With The Stars Australia - Seasons 1, 2 and 3

Lacey Schwimmer
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Mark Decascos
BACKGROUND: Given the amount of fancy footwork that's come from this Dancing with the Stars alum's household, we're pretty sure she's got what it takes to step up to the competition for a third time. Lacey was born into a family of championship dancers and grew up in Moreno Valley, California. Her parents are Laurie Kauffman and noted West Coast Swing dancer, Buddy Schwimmer. She is the younger sister of Benji Schwimmer, winner of the second season of So You Think You Can Dance. Although she began dancing at age 6, it wasn't until she hit her teens that she realized that this was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She was chosen as one of the Top 20 contestants for season 3 of So You Think You Can Dance on FOX. Schwimmer has finished top at the U.S. Open Swing Dance Championships and has won numerous U.S. titles. Some of her appearances we've seen her in include Christina Aguilera's pop video clip "Candyman" as a jitterbugger, a cameo appearance in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody in the episode, "Loosely Ballroom", and Jon Chu and Adam Sevani's Biggest Online Dance Battle against M&M. Lacey danced at the MTV Movie Awards 2008 alongside Adam Sandler and was cast to dance in Adam Shankman's film Bedtime Stories starring Adam Sandler. Currently Lacey is part of the iHollywood Dance faculty and is also teaching master classes in Norway.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--2007 - 1st Place: World Swing Dance Championships
--7 time US Open Swing Dance Champion
--2007 - So You Think You Can Dance Finalist
--2006 - 1st Place: US National Youth Latin Championships
--2006 - Emerald Ball Youth Latin Champion

Louis Van Amstel
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Kelly Osbourne
BACKGROUND: Trivia time—did you know that in addition to competing in five previous seasons of the show, this Emmy-nominated dancer is also the coach of fellow DWTS pro Dmitry Chaplin? Louis van Amstel began his dance career at an early age, training in a theatre school and gaining a solid background in ballet, tap, and jazz. Upon graduating, Louis attended the University of the Arts in Amsterdam to further strengthen his skills in the classical dances and theory. Upon immigrating to the United States, Louis quickly became the U.S. National Latin Champion in 2000 and founded the company VanDance, LLC. Through VanDance Louis directed, choreographed and performed in Latin Fusion, a feature production on Broadway. Louis has a strong psychological approach to teaching. He trains under legendary dance guru Dr. Ruud Vermeij, who has a holistic approach towards dancing. Louis is also a student of Laban choreology and is well-versed in human movement dynamics. Additionally, van Amstel has appeared on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, All My Children and So You Think You Can Dance.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--United States Professional Latin American champion (2000)
--Seven-Time Dutch National Amateur Champion
--World Professional Showdance Champion ('96)
--Professional World Latin Finalist (1996)
--European Amateur Latin Champion ('95)
--World Amateur Latin Champion ('94, '95)
--Grand Slam Latin Champion ('95)

Maksim Chmerkovskiy
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Debi Mazar
BACKGROUND: "The Bad Boy of the Ballroom" joined the show in Season 2, competing with partner Tia Carrere. We fell for Maks instantly. Known for his bold moves and even bolder mouth, he's the one we love to hate and hate to love. Maks has come close to getting that shiny disco ball twice. He made it to the finals with boxing champ Laila Ali in Season 4, and finished in second place in Season 5 with Mel B. So close! Ladies love to look at Maks. "I know my assets so I don't have a problem opening my shirt," the dancer says. "I notice women looking at my chest all the time. If you want to look at my chest, go ahead." Don't mind if we do! And DWTS dancer Karina Smirnoff is a lucky girl—they're engaged. Maks is a big part of the DWTS family. He toured in the national production and is part of the DWTS: Cardio Dance DVD. He recently starred on ABC's sports competition show The Superstars and played himself in an episode of All My Children. Outside of DWTS, Maks choreographed for famed director Franco Dragone's Le Reve, and performed in the Broadway show Burn the Floor. Currently a board member for the non-profit organization DanceTeamUSA, Maks is dedicated to inspiring American kids to get involved in DanceSport. He started the Rising Stars Dance Academy, which is the premier youth ballroom dance school in the United States. He also organizes performances all over the world through his company Maksim Chmerkovskiy Productions.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--2005 Yankee Classic Professional Latin Champion
--2004 Manhattan Dancesport Professional Latin Champion
--2003 Ohio Star Ball Latin Champion
--Ranked 2nd in the US

Mark Ballas
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Melissa Joan Hart
BACKGROUND: Coming from a family of international dance stars, it's no surprise that Mark has two shiny disco ball trophies at home. He even beat out his dad, Corky, and childhood friends, Julianne and Derek Hough, for the wins. Mark joined the show in Season 5. Despite their stellar performances, he and partner Sabrina Bryan were eliminated in week six. It was so controversial that various websites voted it 2007's Most Shocking TV Moment. Despite the Season 5 upset, Mark came back to win the DWTS title in Season 6 with partner Kristi Yamaguchi, and again in Season 8 with Shawn Johnson. Born in Houston, Texas, Mark moved to London with his family as a child and joined the Italia Conti Academy of Dramatic Arts Associate School where his training in acting and singing/dancing began. He grew up with fellow DWTS pros Derek and Julianne Hough, who lived and trained with his parents. He says they are more like family than friends. "We get along like brother...we fight like brothers." Mark and Julianne partnered to win Junior Latin American and Junior Olympics dance championships. As an actor, Mark has played the lead in the musical Copacabana. He also took on roles in the UK tour of Maria de Buenos Aires, and was an understudy in the London Palladium production of The Buddy Holly Musical. Plus, maybe you caught his guest star appearance on the 2008 season premiere of Samantha Who? When he's not dancing, Mark rocks out with Derek in their band Ballas Hough Band. Their fist studio album, BHB, was released in March 2009.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--British Juvenile Ballroom and Latin American dance champ
--US Open to the World, British Open to the World and International Open to the World Junior Latin American Champ
--Junior Olympics Gold Medal Winner
--British Open to the World, US Open to the World, International Open to the World twice, United Kingdom, Youth Latin American Dance Champion

Tony Dovolani
CELEBRITY PARTNER: Kathy Ireland
BACKGROUND: Be still our beating, ballroom-dancing hearts—Tony's back for Season 9 of DWTS, and you can bet he's gonna bring a little extra fire to the floor this fall. Born in Kosovo, professional ballroom dancer, instructor and judge Driton "Tony" Dovolani began folk dancing at age three. When he was 15, his entire family moved to the United States and Tony got the opportunity to attend the New England-based Fred Astaire Dance Academy. From that moment on, he knew he had found his passion. Since that time, Tony has traveled the world and won several championships. Tony also had a featured role in the hit film Shall We Dance, and spent time coaching Jennifer Lopez. Dovolani made his Dancing with the Stars debut in Season 2, when he was paired up with professional wrestler Stacy Keibler. Most recently, Tony was partnered with Melissa Rycroft in Season 8, where they came in third place. How far will his fancy footwork take him this time?
ACHIEVEMENTS:
--2005 and 2006 World Rhythm Champion
--2006 PBS American Ballroom Challenge Rhythm Champion
--2006 Emerald Ball Open Professional American Rhythm Champion
--2005 Ohio Star Ball American Rhythm Champion
--Current world and undefeated United States Open champion

Just four weeks from today! It's probably too early for me to start warming up the TV, huh? Sigh.

Dancing With the Stars--Season 9 "Stars" Announced

2009-08-17T09:23:00.002-05:00

Hello Dance Fans! The "Biggest Cast Yet" is revealed for this season's "Dancing With the Stars". Um...that's based on sheer numbers (16) and not, as you might think, either star power or actual weight. (Something they have yet to try...you know, kind of like a cross between "Dancing With the Stars" and "The Biggest Loser". Oh, wait, that's been done with this year's fabulous(?) "Dance Your A$$ Off" (replace the dollar signs with the letter "s" and you'll get the actual title) starring Season 6's Marissa Jaret Winokur.)

And here they are...in no particular order...unless you count alphabetical, which Samantha Harris wouldn't because...well, that would involve knowing all her letters. Oh, no! Kind of early in the season for me to be THAT catty. But, it's been a long DWTS-less summer and I've had no one to make fun of for months!

(All information taken directly from the ABC Web site, so don't blame me for their sarcastic comments--I've got plenty of my own!)

AARON CARTER
PROFESSION: Singer, Actor
BACKGROUND: He's toured the world and sold millions of records as a teen pop sensation. But can this multi-platinum artist step up to the challenge on the DWTS dance floor? As a singer-songwriter, producer and actor, Aaron Carter has established himself worldwide as a pop and teen sensation. He's also the younger brother of Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. Beginning his career at the age of eight, Aaron is currently the youngest solo artist to have four Top 40 singles. He's released four studio albums since 1997, two of which have been certified platinum. Carter has appeared on several television series, including Lizzie McGuire and 7th Heaven, and he made his Broadway debut playing JoJo the Who in Seussical the Musical in 2001. Additionally, he contributed songs to the soundtracks for Disneymania, Ella Enchanted, Pokemon and The Rugrats Movie. In 2006, Carter starred in the E! reality show, House of Carters, which featured all five of the Carter siblings living in the same house.

ASHLEY HAMILTON
PROFESSION: Actor, Songwriter and Comedian
BACKGROUND: This fall we get to watch Ashley Hamilton follow in the footsteps of his famous father, George Hamilton, who was a contestant on Dancing with the Stars during Season 2. A multi-talented multi-hyphenate, Ashley has tackled the worlds of film, music, stand-up comedy and television. He's written tunes for such top pop artists as Meredith Brooks, Sugar Ray, Robbie Williams and Hillary Duff. Ashley has also made numerous television and film appearances as an actor, including a starring role in the soap Sunset Beach and guest appearances on Meet the Family and Oz. Once chosen as one the 50 most beautiful men in the world by People Magazine, he most recently has been performing stand-up comedy at The Laugh Factory, The Hollywood Improv, The Comedy Store, and Room 5 in Los Angeles.

CHUCK LIDDELL
PROFESSION: Mixed Martial Artist and Ultimate Fighting Champion
BACKGROUND: He may be a mean bruisin' machine, but will this Ultimate Fighter's skills help him to make high kicks on the dance floor? Chuck Liddell is the face of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, and an icon of Mixed Martial Arts—the fastest growing sport in America. In 1998, he won his first UFC Mixed Martial Arts fight and quickly rose through the ranks to become the light-heavyweight champion of the world. In July of 2009, Liddell was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame. He is tied for the most wins by a UFC fighter with 16, and also holds the most knockout wins with 10. A popular film and television personality, Chuck has appeared in the movies 300, Cradle 2 the Grave, Bachelor Party Vegas, The Death and Life of Bobby Z and Drillbit Taylor. He starred as "Graft" in Blade: The Series and had guest cameos in Inked and Entourage. In 2008, Chuck penned his autobiography, Iceman: My Fighting Life, which quickly became a New York Times bestseller. He earned a BA in Business/Accounting from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, where he also wrestled. Watch out—he's smart and dangerous!

DEBI MAZAR
PROFESSION: Actor
BACKGROUND: We've seen Debi do her share of dancing to the beat in music videos and on the iconic show Graffiti Rock. Now she's set to show the judges some all new moves on Season 9 of DWTS! Known for her no nonsense New York attitude, actor Debi Mazar started her entertainment career as Madonna's makeup artist and appeared in several of her music videos. Since her breakout role in Martin Scorsese's Goodfellas, she has gone on to work with acclaimed Oliver Stone (The Doors), Spike Lee (in Malcolm X), Joel Shumacher (Batman Forever), and Woody Allen (Bullets Over Broadway).Mazar has also appeared on the ABC series Ugly Betty, and on the CW's Privileged. She currently stars on the HBO series Entourage as the sharp-tongued publicist, Shauna. Debi and her husband Gabriele Corcos host a popular internet cooking show called Under the Tuscan Gun.

DONNY OSMOND
PROFESSION: Singer, actor, TV presenter
BACKGROUND: We all watched his sister Marie advance to third place in Season 5 of DWTS. Now it's big brother's turn to slip on the dance shoes. Donnie Osmond won the hearts of millions after racking up hits like "Puppy Love," "One Bad Apple" and "Soldier Of Love," as both a member of the Osmonds and as a solo artist. With his sister (and Dancing with the Stars alumna) Marie, they became the youngest co-hosts in prime time history on the iconic ABC variety series Donny & Marie. Additionally, Osmond was the singing voice of Captain Li Shang in Disney's 1998 animated feature Mulan. He also starred opposite Martin Lawrence and Raven-Symone in the Disney comedy College Road Trip. Donny and Marie are currently performing at the Las Vegas Flamingo Hotel through 2012. For nearly five decades, Donny Osmond has been a singer, musician, Broadway and film actor, talk show and game show host, best-selling author, and even a champion race car driver.

JOANNA KRUPA
PROFESSION: Actor, Model
BACKGROUND: It's about to get hot on the dance floor in Season 9 of DWTS, and it's not just because of the extreme workout the contestants are getting! One of the "Sexiest Women in the World" according to Maxim magazine and E!, Joanna Krupa was born in Poland and raised in Chicago. Her exotic looks and diverse talents have made her one of the most requested models in the world. JoJo's ad for PETA's "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign became a world-wide phenomenon. Her film and TV credits include Six Days in Paradise, Ripple Effect, Las Vegas and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Most recently she competed in ABC's The Superstars teaming with Buffalo Bills NFL star Terrell Owens.

KATHY IRELAND
PROFESSION: Model, actor, author, Sunday School teacher and CEO of Kathy Ireland Worldwide
BACKGROUND: Would you ever guess that this famous bikini beauty runs a billion dollar business? We're anxious to see if she can match her success in business on the floor of the Dancing with the Stars set! Kathy is the CEO of Kathy Ireland Worldwide, a $1.4 billion design empire celebrated by Forbes, Newsweek and the Wall Street Journal. Now a wife, mother of three, Sunday school teacher and author, she has recently published the book Real Solutions for Busy Moms: Your Guide to Success and Sanity. This supermodel-turned-super-mogul has been featured in Sports Illustrated's annual Swimsuit Issue for 13 consecutive years. She also appeared in numerous television and movie roles including Melrose Place, Side Out, Mr. Destiny, National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1, Once Upon a Christmas, Mom and Dad Save the World and Necessary Roughness. Kathy has been recognized by UCLA as one of the Top Ten Women's Health Advocates in America for her humanitarian work with non-profits, such as Elizabeth Taylor HIV/AIDS Foundation, Feed the Children, and the Alliance for Christian Education.

KELLY OSBOURNE
PROFESSION: Singer, actress and media personality
BACKGROUND: We watched her navigate her way through adolescence on The Osbournes. Here's hoping she's equally as nimble on her toes, on DWTS! Daughter of rock icon Ozzy Osbourne and well-known TV personality Sharon Osbourne, Kelly made a name for herself by starring in the first ever "celebrity reality" TV show, The Osbournes, alongside her famous family. The show became a huge hit for its portrayal of the crass, close-knit rock and roll clan, and won an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program in 2002. Kelly capitalized on her popularity by becoming a sought-after singer, actress and media personality. Her debut music album Shut Up! included a cover of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach." Her second album, Sleeping in Nothing, was released in 2005 with its first single, "One Word," hitting #1 on all three Billboard Dance charts simultaneously. Osbourne's dramatic acting debut on the ABC series Life As We Know It earned her rave reviews. Since then, she has worked primarily in the UK, where she's done theater (including a successful run in Chicago in London's West End in 2007) and hosted her own weekly radio show on BBC Radio. Kelly has also presented numerous international TV projects, including Project Catwalk, the British version of Project Runway, and the 2005 MTV Australia Video Music Awards.

LOUIE VITO
PROFESSION: Professional snowboarder
BACKGROUND: We can't wait to watch this champion pro boarder shuffle down from the slopes to the floor of the Dancing with the Stars set in Season 9. Daredevil Louie Vito is among the U.S.'s elite snowboarders favored to make the 2010 Olympic team. Competing in both the Pipe and Slopestyle disciplines, Vito continues to train for the Grand Prix qualifying. The 21-year-old turned pro in 2006 and has competed in multiple Winter X-Games competitions. He is also a two-time winner of the USSA Grand Prix Halfpipe Series. His technical diversity and charismatic personality make him one of the most sought-after riders today.

MACY GRAY
PROFESSION: R&B singer-songwriter
BACKGROUND: The raspy-voiced soul singer is out to prove she has as much rhythm in her feet as she does in her vocal chords when she takes to a very different stage than she's used to on DWTS Season 9. On How Life Is is the name of Macy Gray's debut album, and what a life she's had since being discovered while working as a cashier in Beverly Hills in the 1990s. After four albums, she's sold over 20 million records and has been nominated for five Grammy Awards and six MTV Video Music Awards. Her next album is due out later this year. On DTWS, Gray will have to learn how to work well with her dancing partner, but she's no stranger to collaboration, having written songs with some of the music industry's biggest names, such as Justin Timberlake, Carlos Santana, Fergie, and Natalie Cole. She's also had a successful acting career, appearing in the films Training Day, Domino, Spider-Man and Idlewild.

MARK DACASCOS
PROFESSION: TV host, Kung Fu champion, actor
BACKGROUND: Can The Chairman cha-cha his way into the championships, or will he have to return to Kitchen Stadium empty handed? Famously known as "The Chairman" and the host of Food Network's Iron Chef America, Dacascos is also a champion martial artist and actor. And it's no surprise that Mark is world renowned in Kung Fu—both of his parents are former national champions and teachers. Mark was first discovered walking down the street in San Francisco's Chinatown. Before joining Iron Chef America in 2005, Mark has played not only martial artists, but a wide array of characters over the course of his film and television career. He has appeared in several feature films including the internationally acclaimed French epic, Brotherhood of the Wolf, the cult classic Only the Strong, Cradle 2 the Grave opposite Jet Li, Only the Brave, Nomad, and The Lost Medallion, to be released later this year.

MELISSA JOAN HART
PROFESSION: Actor, Producer, Director
BACKGROUND: We've been watching this talented beauty on stage, screen and TV ever since she was a little girl. As much as we loved her as a child, we're glad she's all grown up and taking her talents to the DWTS stage!Known for her starring roles in the television series Clarissa Explains It All and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, 1990's teen sensation Melissa Joan Hart literally made a big splash into acting at age 4 in a commercial for "Splashy" the bathtub doll. She successfully made the transition from teen star to accomplished actor, director and producer. She starred in the film Drive Me Crazy alongside Entourage's Adrian Grenier as well as the ABC Family Original Movie Holiday in Handcuffs opposite Dancing with the Stars alumni Mario Lopez, which was the highest rated program in the history of the network. Her latest project, the ABC Family Original Movie My Fake Fiancé, was also a huge rating hit. In 1993, Hart started her own production company, Hartbreak Films, and is set to release her first thriller film Nine Dead to DVD in January 2010. Hart and husband Mark Wilkerson are the proud parents of two sons, Mason, age 3, and Braydon, 17 months.

MICHAEL IRVIN
PROFESSION: ESPN radio host and former Dallas Cowboy
BACKGROUND: It's like this: While Irvin was catching the pigskin for the Dallas Cowboys, the team played three Superbowls and won them all. Coincidence? No way. Regarded as one of the most successful wide receivers in the history of the NFL, this guy, known as "The Playmaker" and one of "The Triplets" alongside fellow Cowboys Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith,received the coveted Dallas Cowboys "Ring of Honor" in 2005 and in 2007 was inducted into the Professional Football Hall of Fame. We're talking serious SKILLS. Off the field, he's been just as entertaining to watch. The former broadcaster for ESPN's NFL Countdown has appeared in various TV shows as well as co-starred in The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. Last fall, Irvin executive produced/hosted the reality TV series 4th and Long for Spike TV, in which one football hopeful was given a shot at making the Dallas Cowboys roster. Most recently, he appeared on the Hall of Fame inductions on the NFL Network and now hosts his own radio show in Dallas for ESPN Radio. We already know he looks great in uniform and stellar in a suit. Now we can't wait to see what he looks like in sequins and Samba shoes...

MYA
PROFESSION: Singer, songwriter, record producer, actor
BACKGROUND: Will we watch this sultry singer find her Latin rhythm and rumba away with the treasured disco ball? Mya exploded onto the music scene at age 18 with her eponymous debut album, which yielded three Top 10 singles. She became an instant star known for her edgy lyrics and dance moves. This Grammy-winning multi-platinum artist is a true all-around performer who has expanded her successful singing career to acting, dancing, modeling and record producing. Mya is also signed to the famed Ford Modeling Agency and has appeared in several movies, including Chicago, Shall We Dance, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and Cursed. Mya's sixth studio album is due to be released this year on her own indie label. A longtime advocate for young women, she founded The Mya Arts & Tech Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing disadvantaged youth growth and opportunity through arts and technology education, where she serves as both executive director and teacher.

NATALIE COUGHLIN
PROFESSION: Olympic Swimming Gold Medalist
BACKGROUND: There are plenty of medals adorning this Olympic swimmer's mantle. Is there any room left up there for the coveted DWTS disco ball trophy? Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin is the most decorated female athlete of both the 2004 Athens and 2008 Beijing Games. She won a medal in every single Olympic event that she ever entered—giving her a total of 11. In 2008, she became the first American female athlete to win six medals in one Olympiad. Additionally, she became the first woman to win consecutive individual Olympic gold medals in the 100m backstroke. Coughlin is also the most decorated female swimmer in World Championship history with sixteen medals. Born and raised in northern California, Natalie first began swimming at the local YMCA when she was only 10 months old. At age 15, she became the first swimmer to qualify for the Summer National in all 14 events. A scholar-athlete, she attended the University of California, Berkeley, where she earned a B.A. in psychology in 2005. Recently, Natalie was nominated as the Top Female Athlete of the Year at the 2009 ESPY Awards.

TOM DeLAY
PROFESSION: Politician
BACKGROUND: DWTS is a long way from Washington D.C.'s world of politics, so we're anxious to see just how well this Texas native can do the two-step! One of the most influential Republican figures in the early 2000s, Tom DeLay rose through the ranks in the United States House of Representatives to become the Majority Leader of the Republican Party. His aggressive "Grow the Vote" method of party discipline, where he never lost a vote, earned him the nickname of "The Hammer" from the Washington Post. As foster parents, Tom and his wife Christine are dedicated to improving America's foster care system and have founded Rio Bend, a community that serves as a safe, permanent home for abused and neglected children. He is currently President of First Principles LLC, a strategic political consulting firm based in Washington D.C. and Houston, Texas.

Coming soon to a computer near you. The matching game! Yes, just as soon as I do a bit of research, we'll be playing the "What Predetermined Category of 'Star' Does this Person Fit?" game. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, block out Monday and Tuesday nights starting September 21st for...let's see...with 16 stars...oh, just block them for the rest of your life for the time being so you don't risk missing any of the exciting happenings!